I have written in the past questioning the “we won” thought process of geekdom taking over the world. I am happy that there are so many geeky things in the world now. I love that so many things have cropped up and made their way to the public eye. Seeing so many things creates this feedback loop wherein I start to wonder if I’m really seeing fandom or if what I’m seeing is a naked cashing in on something that has reached the level of ‘fad’ and will soon fade into the background again. I will say now that I work very hard at NOT being that fan. You now, the one that claims if you didn’t suffer enough or if you aren’t a fan of precisely the right thing or you haven’t been into it long enough that you’re not truly a fan. That’s a load of crap. If you took up your geeky hobby or fandom last week you’re still a fan. You don’t have to be a fan of the same things I am, nor do you have to enjoy them the same way I do.

As with anything that pushes to the forefront of popular culture, levels of quality come into question as well. Sure, I saw a full set of Dungeons & Dragons dice the other day at the dollar store. Does that make them good dice? Does that make them bad dice? I didn’t buy them ~ I have no idea what the quality is. What it does mean is that if there’s a kid out there that wants some new gaming dice and he can scrounge up a buck, he can buy some. I’m happy for that. The dice may or may not meet my quality standard, but my standard has evolved over time. I’m really digging for quality now.

I am looking for high quality when it comes to the game I hold dear and how it is represented. A while back I posted wrote a couple of pieces about sword and sorcery films. I listed the top ten, and then added to (or amended) that list when I went hunting for newer material. One film conspicuously absent from my list was the Dungeons & Dragons movie.

Insert heavy sigh here.

For anyone that doesn’t know about it, New Line Cinema put out a Dungeons & Dragons film back in December of 2000. I was really excited to see it. I wanted it… I was willing it to be amazing. My Jedi mind trick failed or my will was not strong enough or maybe the time just wasn’t right. I loath that movie. It’s terrible AND didn’t do much more than pile ridicule onto fans at the time. Bear in mind this was a full eight years before the MCU’s first film came out (Iron Man – 2008) and still a year before the first of the LOTR series hit theaters (Fellowship of the Ring – December 2001). This movie did every single thing I feared about putting D&D forward into the public view. Big names were in this film. Jeremy Irons won an Oscar. Seriously. I’m not a fan of Mr. Irons, but they got an Oscar winner in there. I was also not a fan of casting one of the Wayans brothers in the movie. It has nothing to do with diversity – I think there should be more of it. It has everything to do with putting a stand up comic in as comic relief and not writing *any* clever lines to help him. He was hands down the worst character in the film – and yes I’m counting blue lipstick guy. The movie was just not good. Seriously, on a $45M budget it made back less than $16M domestically. That’s a bomb. I think it speaks to the strength of the brand that they were able to get funding for another two films (and YES, the third one did drop direct to DVD). It didn’t help matters that the following year’s release of Fellowship showed what a fantasy movie could look like. LOATHE IT.

What brought all this bile up you might be thinking.

I saw a news story today that says Chris Pine is joining the cast of a new Dungeons & Dragons movie. Yes, that Chris Pine. The one from Wonder Woman and the Star Trek reboot.

I am filled with trepidation. A big name utterly failed to help the last one. There’s a lot of interest in D&D since the Stranger Things series came out… but… it could just go so very, horribly wrong. I find myself right back where I was twenty years ago. I so very, very much want this movie to be amazing. I want it to be “Fellowship” good. I have no faith in Hollyweird. The crusty old people pulling the purse strings will mess this up somehow. I say this based on the film adaptation of Ready Player One specifically, but not exclusively. There was an entire segment of that movie that could have (and should have) revolved around the D&D part that was written into the book. It’s not like D&D is unpopular right now. Rather than use that an entirely new section was written in as a homage to some other director and a film adaptation from 40 years ago (The Shining). My only glimmer of hope is that Joe Manganiello has also been said to be attached as one of the story creators. Joe has been very public about his love of the game and the fact that he continues to play.

A lot of people claim they love, respect, adore, play Dungeons & Dragons but I don’t see it. They’re going to screw this up… again. I don’t want them to, but I fear they will. I so very, very much want this to be amazing. I’ll have to revisit this post after I see the movie. It’s scheduled to release in the US in May of 2022.

I’m almost certain we’ll be back in movie theaters by then.