Time and Space

It has been a year. Today isn’t a specific anniversary date, but it has been a year since the company that ran a number of conventions including ReGenerationWho imploded. I wrote about my feelings in Death of a Convention last year, but now I’ve had significantly more time to reflect.

That time to reflect has both helped and hurt.

Time away from the chaos, rushing and stress has given me the chance to really enjoy all the fun we had and the amazing things we accomplished over the years. I have so many new friends because of the things we did. We were part of something amazing and wonderful. It has helped me to see just how cool the fandom community really is.

Time away has hurt too. I don’t get to see many of those folks on a regular basis. We’re connected via social media, but sometimes an in person get together is needed. It has also hurt to see folks that did not handle any of this well. I will not name people here, but I have generated a deep and abiding anger toward some parts of the collapsing mess that was. It hasn’t gone away. I don’t think it will any time soon.

I think that’s the key to it all. Keeping the memories and the feelings we all made together. There will be other conventions in the future (not this year of course – 2020 the plague year) and there will be more chances to make that magic.

Keep doing amazing things, even when they hurt a little too. It’s part of what makes us who we are.

Such Magic!
Sharing a Hug

Flash Prompts

Sometimes I need a little push to get going. Writing is not an easy, flowing thing all the time. A friend of mine has a secret group on Failbook called “Flash Prompt”.

One picture, each day with no discussion – just writing. Hit the “like” button all you want, but don’t comment on other people’s work. It’s meant to get writing stuff moving for people – give some little bit of inspiration. It’s meant to be “flash sized” so short and to the point.

I’ve done a couple of things on there and I thought I might share some with you. I don’t do every one. Some of the pictures don’t inspire me, sometimes I miss a day or twelve and the mood doesn’t move me. It’s hard to tell. The curator is super good about providing a link to the artist who created the picture – and I will try to do the same. Artists need to get paid.

This is the first one I participated in.

Rocky Coast

On sunny days it was great fun to climb on the rocks near my aunt’s house exploring tide pools and finding shells. She loved it there. I loved it there. The breeze off the water, the sound of the surf.

When the storms came the could be endured. The rage was part of the beauty. The danger part of the allure.

When the storm sent sea water down the chimney she decided that endurance had limits and even the best relationships can turn sour. She moved far enough inland that the sea could not reach her.

I miss the rocky coast.

The New Normal

And there it went. The first full week of the “new normal” is in the books.

Covid-19 is rampaging across the world and killing thousands. Everyone is getting a little crazy about the whole thing – with some justification. Something like this has not occurred in our memory. There was the Spanish Flu back in the 1920s, but there are no people alive who can relate to us how society was at that time. We can read about it, but that’s all we’ve got.

We’ve also got a dramatically different method of communication at our disposal. We know more about what’s going on in the world around us at a faster speed than ever before. Hopefully this will allow us to get ahead of this virus and stop things from reaching Spanish Flu levels. Right now thousands are dying and that’s bad. The other one? Yeah, that killed somewhere between 20 and 50 MILLION people.

Million.

I would never attempt to diminish the loss of a person, or collection of persons, but as a question of scale we’re doing… as well as can be expected. Honestly, probably better than can be expected. Yes, the virus has forced us to change the way we conduct ourselves. No, we don’t know how long this is going to last. Yes, after two solid weeks of news, media and home grown “experts” yelling at us about coronavirus it seems like it’s been here forever, but it hasn’t been that long. How long will it be? No idea. Nobody knows. Lots of people are making predictions, but until we get there we won’t have any idea.

I am fortunate to still be able to work, at least right now. I have shifted to working from home and connecting to everyone via my internet connection. My lovely wife has been given the same opportunity and has a similar computer station set up next to this one. We’ve been in the same house along with the kiddo for a full week + and haven’t gone completely insane. In fact, we all seem to quite like it. We’re much more relaxed. Work has a lot of the same kind of stupid, but it’s muted by the overwhelming noise of change. I’ve heard there are people out there not handling the social isolation very well. I hope those folks take advantage of the technology we have access to and stay as connected as they can without actual physical presence.

So – big changes. Things we were told would never be a thing have come to pass (particularly the sudden ‘realization’ that certain jobs CAN in fact be done remotely). Life will be forever changed by this event. My daughter will have this as a marked point in her life that she will remember long into her adulthood much the same way I remember events like the shuttle disaster that happened when I was in high school. No where close to the same level of impact – but a bright and clear memory of that time for me.

Forging ahead. I’ve gotten a bunch of things done around the house. That’s the thing – when you can’t leave, you have to make it a point to actually create and stick to a schedule that works for your household. What am I trying to say? Well, just this: I’ve been working essentially the same schedule as before. Sure the commute is a hell of a lot better and the dress code is pretty lax, but I’m still on schedule. It means that I’m spending all that work time here on my home computer. So when I “get home from work” I have even less desire to jump on here and keep working than before.

I’m hoping to pick up some creativity soon – but given the circumstances of the world, I’m not sure I’ll get there. Maybe I’ll start cranking out the words. Dunno. Hopefully you’ll keep coming back here to see.

Stormy

I started my own re-read of all the published works in the Dresden Files series in anticipation of the new book being released this summer. Part of the re-read was also looking at them from a new perspective. I have heard from some people that the works are misogynistic. I have never felt that way about them. In fact, I empathize with the main character more than I do with many other works. It’s part of my attraction to the series. That’s the part that worried me ~ I never want to be that guy.

I read the short story at the start of it all and the comic book that is supposed to land in the timeline before Storm Front, even though Storm Front was the first published.

Time to move on to case book one.

I read the whole thing in a morning. It’s a fast moving book. I had forgotten how short the time frame of the book itself is. It feels longer in my mind just based on how long I’ve been reading the series. The actual timeline in the book is less than a whole week – it’s only a few days total (like Thursday to Monday). I didn’t remember that.

I also didn’t remember just how many of the fantastic lines / quotes from the series came from this first book. Many I remembered and many that I didn’t.

I also came to realize just how much that dismal television show has crept into my mind. I am a visual person by nature and things like television and media tend to stick and stay with me. When I read about Bob the skull, I pictured Terrence Mann. Bob never takes on a form anything like that in the book, but that picture has stayed with me. The picture of Joanne Kelly as Bianca stuck with me as well. The problem is other details stuck too – and they’re flat out wrong. The TV series messed with so much of this work that it has become difficult to pry the two apart.

I’m glad I read the book again. I’m really glad I went back and could recognize the changes in details based on the words, not on my shaky memory.

As to the thought that the book is misogynistic? I have a really hard time calling it that. I think that’s using a club when a scalpel is called for. I try to temper my words and say things as accurately and succinctly as possible. I try to say what I mean. I think that I understand what those people are saying, even if they’re using very charged and inelegant methods to make their point. They would call my attempt to defend it a lot of inelegant things I’m sure. So – to that point:

The book is not written or intended to be hateful or hurtful to women and that is the definition of misogynistic. I do however see that people could view the main character as a sexist and somebody that works within a system that has always favored men. He has good intentions and clearly states that he understands there are women that don’t like it on page 11. Right up front.

“Maybe my values are outdated, but I come from an old school of thought. I think that men ought to treat women like something other than just shorter, weaker men with breasts. Try and convict me if I’m a bad person for thinking so. I enjoy treating a woman like a lady, opening doors for her, paying for shared meals, giving flowers–all that sort of thing. It irritates the hell out of Murphy, who had to fight and claw and play dirty with the hairiest men in Chicago to get as far as she has.”

I’m glad I’m going back through all the stories again. I’m glad I have a fresh perspective on them. I’m going to continue and see if the pattern I missed before shows up now with a new point of view…

Failure and Fan Art

It would be easy to call entry into a contest and not winning a failure. Easy, but not true.

I created the picture below to enter into a fan art competition in celebration of the 20th anniversary of the Dresden Files. I really am a big fan. I have read more of this series than I have of any other book series or author out there. Admittedly, some authors I’ve read don’t have as great an amount of work available. There are some that have comparable amounts of work available, but they have not met the standard set by the Dresden Files for me.

I didn’t share this entry before the contest winners were announced. It was not at all about a “jinx” or any other kind of superstition. It was that mean, nasty thing called ‘hope’. IF you’ve got even a little it makes you think things like, “Gee, I don’t want to put this up on my web site where it will be considered ‘published’ before the winners are announced… what if I win and then they want to do a business deal and can’t…”

Intellectually it was very easy to see that I didn’t have much of a chance. I am an amateur artist on a good day. This contest was open to all comers – and there were a lot of them I suspect.

So – I didn’t win – BUT

What I did get was a chance to make art. I like what I made. I am going to make more art. This was a fun little project and I’m very happy with the results. What do you think?

Bob The Skull

More Context

It’s been a week since I posted “historic context” and I haven’t written a single thing in that time. I am not alone in that. This past week has seen an extraordinary amount of change because of the world wide pandemic that is COVID-19 (commonly called the coronavirus). I simply have not had the wherewithal to just sit down and write. There is a staggering amount of anxiety out there and it has leeched into us here. It is hard to NOT panic when everyone else is in panic mode. The biggest fear is the transmission rate and our lack of ability to stop it. We don’t have any kind of vaccine to counter this and people have been dying by the thousands over the past few weeks. It is true that most of the deaths are not near us here in the middle of PA, but the simple fact that within a stunningly short number of days there are hundreds of people near us that have this virus makes that panic suddenly sound more reasonable. Panic is not a reasonable response, but it is understandable to be deeply shaken by the speed this hit us with and our genuine lack of preparedness.

When this was ramping up I started to make a list of meetings and events that had been called off because of this virus. It seems almost quaint to look at that list from a week ago. What has been canceled? Everything. The Governor of the state issued an order for all non-life sustaining business to close. All of them. There’s a sudden mad scramble to change how people can work and discussions about the nature of that work (and in many cases that people can’t work now and have been laid off or fired in vain attempts to save a business). In a move that was previously declared as “never going to happen” I have started to set up the ability to work from home. This is admittedly a challenge because the very nature of my work is collaborative. We shall see how it all works out only after more time has passed.

If you’re reading this right now, I have no doubt that you know most of what I have just written. It’s not possible to avoid this news. Why am I writing it here? Historic context. I didn’t remember small parts of what happened when America was attacked on 9/11. If I had not written them down in one of my sketchbooks at work I would have forgotten. There are other parts in my book, but I posted the most relevant to what I am trying to get across.

Businesses are closed. The government has moved to bare essential personnel, schools are closed. Stores have row upon row of empty shelves (see panic above). Anxiety rides high. It has become more and more clear how unprepared we are for anything that changes how we charge ahead in our day to day lives unthinking of what can happen. Everyone is aware now. The change is here and you can’t avoid it.

I think Douglas Adams put it best:



Tomorrow I start my first full day of working from home. So does my lovely wife. She and I will be sharing office space now. My daughter will be home from school all this week at a minimum. That might extend even longer, depending on the spread of the virus and how attempts to contain it work out.

Welcome to the new normal.

As things stand right now, I am still filled with anxiety. There are massive numbers of unanswered questions. Plans as far out as May are already canceled and plans for July are being questioned. My daughter is supposed to be traveling to France in August to begin a year of study in that country – and the entire program is in doubt right now for the first time in 70 years. I can’t comprehend the scope of this right now, but I wanted to write this all down so that someday I will be able to look back at this and remember some of the smaller details. I might even print this out – just in case the electronic version is somehow unavailable. There’s that panicky edge again…

Stay safe and healthy.

Historic Context

I’ve been distracted by the real world again. I’d love to spend tons and tons of time here in writer land but sometimes things happen. What I need to learn to be better about is actually writing down the things I’ve got bouncing around in the ol’ noggin.

Right now, here in the United States we have a panic happening about a global pandemic. People are getting sick at an alarming rate – and being terrible to each other at an even more alarming rate.

I’ve got a number of thoughts that I want to put here, but I’m still formulating how to pull it all together. For some frame of reference I tried to think of another event that really changed things across the country in such short order. The one I could think of most recently was the terror attacks of September 11, 2001.

I was at work that day. I remember it quite clearly. I know where I was sitting and could paint you a picture of my surroundings. What isn’t as clear in my memory was the thought process I had going on. I was writing then. I didn’t have things in electronic format. I didn’t have a blog or really even understand what was involved in starting one at that point. What I did have was my sketch book. I always have a sketch book at work. It’s part of the job. I track my hours on projects, but a lot of other things land in there too. I’ve pulled 3 pertinent pages from that old book (it was almost 20 years ago at this point – a bit staggering to consider) and have them here.

That day

I knew a number of people living in NYC at the time and made an effort to reach out to one of my closest friends of the time. I was lucky to get a response, and get it quickly.

What a day indeed

I recall a number of things about price gouging, hoarding and people being terrible – but more than that I remember people reaching out to help each other.

Did terror win?

I am seeing some things about the pandemic that are similar here in the US, but I am also seeing a number of differences. I want to give this all a lot more thought before I try to write up how I feel about it all. I need to put all the thoughts someplace. Having some historic context is going to matter to me at some point in the future.

Three Cross Bog

Part 05

After struggling to wade out to the fallen deer, Gramp secured the rope around Buck’s body and began to pull his way to solid ground.

“Nice deer, Willard,” said a voice.

“That it is Ben,” said Gramp, stopping halfway between the deer and the shore.

“Nice deer your Gramp has, boy,” said Ben Morrison.

“It’s his,” said Willard looking at Ron.

“Old Buck. Fancy that,” was Ben’s response.

“Got it hisself,” Gramp said.

“That so, boy?” Morrison asked turning to Ron.

Speechless, Ron could only return an awkward gawk.

“Well, he aint claimed so, Willard! So if it ain’t his and it ain’t yours, then by God it must be mine. Ain’t that right boy?”

“Morrison, we don’t want no truck with you,” Gramp said.

“You got truck with me, Willard! Me and my brother,” said Morrison, raising his own shotgun to shoulder level.

“You’ve got to give a man half a break,” pleaded the old hunter.

“You’ve had yours,” said Ben, aiming at Gramp, “and you won’t get no second chance neither.”

Gramp Willard heard the explosion and saw the flesh leap off Morrison’s chest: the blood and bone exposed. Morrison’s right arm was lying fourteen feet away from his body. The lower right half of his face was missing; the bloody tongue flopping out between the remaining exposed teeth. Gramp saw Ron, who still had two fingers on both triggers lying on his back.

“Ron! Ron!” yelled Gramp, struggling to pull himself up the bank. “Ron,” said the grandfather, kneeling beside the boy.

“Is he… is he dead?” the youth whimpered.

“He is.” said Willard, holding Ron’s head.

“I… I killed him, Gramp. I killed him. I killed him…”

“You did right. It was right,” said the old deer slayer, taking the shotgun from Ron’s hands. “You did right.”

Gramp and Ron pulled Old Buck out from the bog and strung him up. The deer had to be dressed out. First however, the took the remains of Ben Morrison’s body down into the bog. Gramp tied the dismembered arm to the body and weighed them down with semi flat stones. He pushed the body into the mud. Down, under the surface, gone.

***

She handed him a glass of wine. It was red. Hearty Burgundy. He didn’t want to drink it. Wine and beer didn’t mix in his system. He drank.

“It’s good,” he said.

“I like it,” she said. “What would you like to hear?”

“Anything, he replied.

She put several records on the stereo, walked to the couch and sat beside him.

“You’re a quiet guy.”

“I’m a good listener,” he said.

“Sometimes you have to do more than listen.”

“I know,” he said.

As she kissed him, she slid her hand along the inside of his thigh. His legs felt numb. He had to piss. He was nauseated. His head was starting to throb.

“Where’s your bathroom?” he asked, breaking away.

“Through there, second door on the left.”

When he returned, he saw her sitting on the couch. She was naked. She was holding her glass of wine. She smiled. He was drunk. He slumped into the space beside her. He wanted it. For sure. Damn wine and beer!

“Well, aren’t you going to do anything?” she demanded.

He didn’t do anything. He didn’t say anything. He saw the bog mud.

***

Ron helped hang Old Buck from a rafter in Gramp’s barn. It was a prize deer. A legendary deer that hung in a dark, dank, empty stall. Gramp, unlike he had planned, never told anyone about the deer. No. The very next day after their return, Gramp butchered Old Buck without so much as a word.

***

Ron sat back in his black leather swivel chair and looked at his books. He thought he could hear them speaking. He thought one of the authors said something about hay bags, but he wasn’t sure. They were all talking at once; it was impossible to understand. He was still drunk. He begged them to be silent. The clamor continued. He took a novel from the shelf. The rest of the works became silent. He loved his books.

End

Jungle

I’m glad I went back and read this one again in the spot where it’s supposed to land in the series. It was good to see a case that was less complex than a lot of the things that have been created later in the series.

That being said – this particular case was quite short. If I had to guess, I’d say it was because it was part of a comic series / graphic novel.

I’ve never been a huge fan of comics themselves, but I have always loved the art. This particular story is really well done and I very much enjoy the art that goes with it. There was one thing that stuck out to me ~ and it’s part of the reason I’m going back and doing the re-read.

I’ve heard / read some folks that call Harry (the main character in all this) misogynistic. I don’t see it that way, but I’m a guy so my opinion might be biased. Since I’ve heard this complaint in more than one place I’ve tried to take note of various bits that might highlight that for others. This particular case has one thing that struck me as something a person could point their finger at and say “that ~ that’s what I mean”.

Murphy is there. She’s a strong and independent female character, even if she’s conflicted about how she feels about Harry. The villain of the piece is also a woman. There are in fact as more noteworthy strong female characters in here than there are males.

However.

Then there’s Willamena aka ‘Will’ – the assistant to Dr. Reese. She is 110% the damsel in distress. She does nothing but deliver information and need to be rescued. She cowers behind Harry more than once. I hadn’t particularly noticed it before, but I could totally see where people might find this character problematic. I found her a bit annoying, but genuinely realistic. There are some people out there that just can’t “do” the violence / scary situation thing. They freak out. They cower. They fail. It just so happens that this cowering person in need of rescue is a woman. Except… why is it always that way? I didn’t see it before, now I’m questioning it.

I would suggest digging up a copy of the graphic novel and taking a peek for yourself. I think it could be an interesting conversation. On to Storm Front!