Here I am. I’ve managed to survive a full half of a century. I’ve tried to start this a couple of times and it’s been less than successful. My birthday is smack dab in the middle of the dumpster fire that amounts to the year 2020. Pandemic, civil unrest, soaring political rage, massive unemployment… let’s celebrate?

I don’t know that being fifty was ever going to be some kind of revelatory moment for me. My other “round number” birthdays weren’t overly moving. Other people seem to have this obsession with a single day signifying something more than a continuation of what you’ve already been doing. That’s not how I operate. Changes happen when they happen, they’re not tied to a Wednesday. So I keep forging along trying to do as much as I can. The issue of course being that as I have aged, some things DO change.

My muscles retain their knowledge of the things I used to be able to do. Sadly, as confirmed by one of my doctors (there’s a sign of getting old right there – one of my doctors), while the muscles will do as they have done before, all the connector parts can not handle the same stresses. The ligaments and tendons have failed to hold up for me. Combining that with the Jenga tower that is my back things have been pretty painful lately. I simply can’t do the things I’ve done before in the way I did them. I have to learn and understand what I’m trying to accomplish. Is there a work smarter, rather than a work harder way to do something? I can say at this age I am now very mindful of the physical challenges I take on. Hopefully I’ll continue to avoid going under the knife.

I’ve heard about midlife crises happening to people when they reach their forties or fifties. I don’t get it. I suppose that having a crisis involves being unhappy about what you have going on in your life. As for my life – I guess one would consider it ongoing. I certainly feel more together and aware of things in my life. I’m happy and comfortable most days. There are certainly a lot of things that I’d like to make better, but that’s how life goes. There aren’t any things I’d trade – all the experiences and events that I have been through combine to make me who I am today. Pull any one thread and the tapestry starts to unravel. I would rather move forward and create more tapestry rather than fold back, pull threads or obsess over past events.

That begs the question – You’re 50, what now?

I have a number of family, volunteer and professional obligations that I intend to keep going with. I don’t foresee any massive changes. Of course I’ve learned over time that the biggest changes tend to be the ones you don’t see coming, but I’m still relatively optimistic for things going forward.

I do have a list of goals that I will be updating. Having goals is an important aspect of life and those goals should be reviewed and considered regularly. I don’t have what is popularly known as a “bucket list”. That’s morbid. I have so much I want to do that making a list of it all seems to be a waste of time and resources. Could I say I want to have McDonald’s on every continent where it’s available? Sure, call that a “bucket list” item if you want, but I just call that something that will happen in my future (if you’re wondering I’ve had McDonald’s on 3 continents so far). While that plan is in progress I have a bunch of other things I need to do. At the end of the day, 50 is just a number. IF I’m writing this at 100 then maybe we’ll have a bigger celebration.

Thank you to all who read here (speaking of numbers – yes, all six of you)!